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Emotional Intelligence: 8 signs you lack personal competence

Emotional intelligence is a set of soft skills that makes up to 90% of your success.

In this article I will focus on personal competences of emotional intelligence. It is the combination of self-awareness, self-regulation and motivation that will turn you into mastering personal intelligence.

These soft skills are learnt and acquired since our early childhood. Some of these are reinforced through your life exposures; some forgotten, and others never learnt.

First of all lets look at the different levels of awareness:

Not every one is aware they miss EI skills, as their consciousness is at different levels of self-awareness regarding their behavior.

The bottom level is the state of blissful ignorance where the person is unaware of their inappropriate behavior….and as one becomes aware of the impact of their behavior, they reach a level of awareness where they are aware of their capacity to learn. At this last stage, of awareness, they are more prone to learn and develop the missing EI skills.

But what are the signs you are missing the personal competences?

1. You don’t have a realistic perception of your self:

- Identifying your strengths and weaknesses is a sign you have a realistic view of yourself.

- You are opened to taking criticism as constructive: you own your mistakes and your potential to improve. Be honest about your assessment and ride the wave of continuous self-improvement.

- You know your values and align them with your goals: you need to know where you are heading to and why you are heading there. When you make a decision based on your values, you will feel more energized to reach your goal successfully.

- You know your needs: it gives you a sense of self-analysis and understanding of your emotional reactions.

2. You don’t have trust in your capacities and don’t know your limitations:

- Taking calculated risks demonstrates you know your capacity and trust yourself. You optimize your strengths instead of exposing yourself to risks.

- Ask for help from competent people who are willing to support you.

3. You don’t have a self-depreciative sense of humor:

- Having a smile about some of your mistakes gives you a reality check and demonstrates self-confidence.

4. Your friends and colleagues have difficulties trusting you:

- Giving and example of fairness, integrity, and loyalty establishes trust with your colleagues and partners. It not only enhances you but the company you work for as well.

5. You are not comfortable with change or ambiguous situations:

- In this global and innovative economy, adapting yourself to changing situations has become the norm rather than the exception. Remaining open minded and attending information meeting will help you gain this competence.

6. You fall in the trap of your impulses:

- Impulses control your emotions; however what you can control is how you master those emotions. It is self-awareness at its peak.

7. You are not passionate about personal and corporate achievements:

- Motivation keeps you going in setting and reaching achievements, for other reasons that money and status. Being motivated is having stamina for the work itself. Your drive is achievement and you set high parameters and monitor your performance.

8. You are not optimistic:

- You don’t have the stamina to reach a goal with energy and determination. You give up in frustrating situations and take things personally. It is the way you react emotionally that impacts your potential to stay motivated to continue and reach your success.

It is the combination of self-awareness, self-regulation and motivation that will turn you into mastering your personal intelligence. In the next article I will share my thoughts about social competences.

Based in Geneva, Switzerland, International Coaching Solutions provides 1 on1 coaching and workshops.

For further advise, feel free to contact me +41765955560 and visit my website.

I will be glad to hear from you.

Shermeen Zeidan

Certified Master Coach and founder of International Coaching Solutions

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