Emotional Intelligence: do you lack empathy?

Do you truly have empathy?

Last month I wrote an article on the 8 signs you lack personal competence; self-awareness, self-management, and motivation.

However what would these personal competences be without social competences??? People skills are indeed essential for you to strive as a member of society, as a professional, as a family member. After all, human beings are social creatures.

The social competences empathy and relationship management complete the three personal competences described in my article last month. They are the two key competences to help you succeed building and sustaining these connections successfully, whether it is in your personal or professional life. This article focuses on empathy.

Empathy is the foundation for emotional intelligence as it completes self-awareness and self-management. Lacking empathy leads handicaps your social life and can even lead to social disasters.

So how can you verify you need improvement?

Empathy…the unspoken language

Did you know that more than 90% of our emotional messages are non verbal….So perhaps its self revealing to look at it more closely. Our rational mind uses words to communicate, while our emotional mind expresses its emotions through non-verbal cues. Your emotional reality lies in how you express your thoughts and emotions rather than in the content of your message. Your tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language are non-verbal ways of expressing yourself. You are also at the receiving end of this unspoken language, so next time you are having a conversation, try focusing on unspoken. Sensitivity is critical to strengthen your empathy, in order to identify, feel and reciprocate these emotions.

Emotions are more contagious than a cold

Did you know emotions are contagious? At every encounter, we send and receive emotions. The key to this transmission is synchrony. Synchronizing your emotions is the pathway of sending and receiving emotions, even the negative ones. The person who expresses his/her feelings the strongest (dominant) is the one who will transmit his/her emotions with the strongest impact. After all, the say "He had them in the palm of his hand" is the perfect example of how impactful and contagious emotions can be.

Empathy…the emotional detector

Sensitivity is a social awareness competence. Its core trait is understanding others feelings, needs, and perspectives. Sensitivity includes demonstrating a real interest in others’ concerns. Yes, but how? Active listening is a key factor for developing sensitivity, since it allows you to feel and understand the unspoken as well as the spoken.

Are you service oriented?

I believe anyone should be…in a perfect world of course…but being service oriented should not be limited to the customer service professionals, however, it must be included in every aspect of one’s life at different degrees. Its part of keeping your relations on the right track by anticipating and recognizing people’s feelings and needs. Being attuned to the verbal and non-verbal cues allows you to develop this skill.

Empathy empowers multicultural diversity

Today’s world has become a multicultural playground and the role empathy has in tolerance is fundamental. We all have limited beliefs and we are all conditioned since our childhood with different types of prejudice. That’s the reason why empathy plays a key role in freeing yourself from such distortions, and finally allowing you to enrich your mind and soul with the beauty of cultural diversity.

How do you use empathy in respecting and understanding cultural differences? Do you feel threatened by cultural differences or on the contrary you embrace this encounter to expand your tolerance and knowledge? How can empathy impact your capacity to fight bias and prejudice? Empathy is the key to cultural intelligence and successful cross-cultural integration. It raises our acceptance, tolerance and respect towards each other. Aren’t we all different and shouldn’t we all embrace and celebrate those differences to enrich our souls?

True wealth lies in the heart of tolerance and diversity.

For more information on emotional intelligence coaching and workshops, feel free to contact me +41765955560 and visit my website.



I will be more than glad to hear from you.

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